A little tea-party in a lovely sunny spot on a summer day….a little nibble of cheese…perhaps a little stroller ride…
What could possibly go wrong?
Well, I’ll tell you what – the little Party won’t seem so “Happy” once Little Girlie decides one of her party guests (guess who?) is under-dressed for teh occassion. Then, before you can dash into the bushes – it’s into Dolly’s dress you go. Then well, gee, that’s so KEE-YUTE, maybe Kitteh would like a ride on teh swings – maybe a little stroller action – maybe Kitteh will do a little dance! Wheee! Then, just as you are at your wit’s end and about to resort to sinking your teefs into her chubby forearm, all teh big humans circle round, oohing and aahing and juggling cameras in your face.
You, my friend, are trapped. If you are in this predicament, my only council is to growl and bear it. You can NOT scratch Little Girlie. You can NOT bite Little Girlie. Not in the presence of Big Humans. Not if you want a can of tuna opened for you ever again.
Our only defense is avoidance. Little Girlie is a Ruthless Predator and as such, should be approached with extreme caution. Little Boy, for some reason, is less of a menance, prol’ly because you can see him coming a mile away, waving sticks and action heros and bellowing something about finding “the Bad Guy.” Since that is so obviously you, there is plenty of time to climb a tree or bookshelf. But Little Girlie is patient and cunning, armed wif comfy strollers and warm doll blankets and a sweet and tiny voice that she uses to convince you that this will be “fun.”
For this reason, I begin a new series: Cautionary Tails of Dangerous Little Darlings. Yet another of my many helpful and cat-saving Public Service Announcements. In my first installment, we take an indepth look at the mind of Little Girlie. Don’t worry – no Kittens were Harmed in the making of this video. But, oh! the squealing. The horrible, horrible squealling. I’m just warning you.
Stay Strong, my Kitteh Friends. And Stay. Away.