Ma’am. Ma’am? I must ask you to not interfere with Police Activities. Please. Step outside teh yellow line. This is for your own safety, Ma’am. Ma’am? MA’AM! Please. I can not Secure teh Perimeter and keep an eye out for Butter Monsters and Kitchen Land Killers if you don’t STAND BACK.
Alright, fine. If you insist. If this really is your so-called “Kitchen,” maybe you can be of help wif our investigation. We have detained a suspicious bowl of an unknown but intriguingly yummy substance. Our Sources suspect it is teh remains of the noted Dairy Delinquent, Heavy Creams. Upon further investigation, we discovered suspicious amounts of bumpy red things. I know what your finking – mouse guts, right? But, no. It appears to be some find of fruit. Tsk. Such a random act of cooking. Another senseless recipe. You see it all in this job. But… who had it in for Creams? Who would ruin his wunnerful, whipped potential?
Well, well, well. What have we here? Some kind of note? A Cook Book confessional, maybe? Let’s see: “Chawclit Cake wif Whipped Cream and Fresh Fruit Filling…1 cup heavy cream (!), 2 tablespoons of kirsch? pureed RASPBERRIES?!” Oh Dear Cod, that’s disgusting. Ma’am – is this your Cookbook? Ma’am? MA’AM! Answer teh question.
Okay, fine. You has teh right to remain Silent. Anyfing you cook can and will be used against you in a Court of Flaws. Hey! Where are you going? Ok, fine. Just remember – our investigation is still on going. You will be notified by Teh Authorities if we have any further questions. You may want to retain counsel. Don’t try to leave teh country.