got some ‘splaining to do…

for teh love of Cod, let me back inI’ll say you do.  Yes, you.  Don’t act so surprised, Mrs. W.  I actually wasn’t going to harp on it, but since you brought it up, Madam, I have a few questions to ask  YOU.  

Like, why on earfs, did you let it get so COLD out there? are you ever planning to do something with all this snow?

And who’s bright idea was it to seal the upstairs dormer windows with plastic sheeting?  Do you know it’s like IMPOSSIBLE now for me to get back in? do you even realize how much hard work goes into climbing a tree to get away from the horrible Orange Introoder?  He was back wif a vengeance last night, did you know that? do you even care? Hmm? Do you?

Do you have any idea how embarrassing it is to have my daring escape plan foiled by a sheet of plastics?

No. No, now stop.  I’ve heard enuff.  Don’t interrupt me wif nonsense about “insulations” and “heat proofing,” and “polar vortexes” and “you aren’t allowed on the roof in the first place…”  A little less lip from you would be appreciated.  

Okay, I’m going to curl up in teh laundries now and I want you to fink — fink really long and hard about what you have done.  In fact, why don’t you write it down?  Then maybe we can talk.

good lucks with that.