Ah! Breathe deep, Cat Bloggers! That wonderful smell is the dawning of a Sparky-free Era – thanks to me, Godfrey Goodmouse and the well-oiled machine that is Anonymouse. It was I who spiked her toy mousie with Ambien! It was I who thought ahead and purchased Delivery Confirmation on a Sparky Care Package for the Antarctic researchers of Vostock station and while some may scoff (looking at you, Mr. Black), this is how I now know that the vile Murderess has in fact, been delivered – safe and sound and probably doing her imitation of an ice cube.
hoo-boy! excuse me while I roll on the ground here and laugh myself sick. hoo! ha! hahahahahahahahahah. tee-hee hee. ahem.
okay! I’m off to take a victory lap around the house before I return to the burrow for my hero’s welcome. In the meantime, here is just a reminder that we at Anonymouse are just getting started. The world, sadly, appears to be filled with Sparky Spitfires. But we are ready for them. Here, then – a cautionary tale to start your new year –
Sparky Spitfire humbly apologies for the previous post which she had nuffing, NUFFING to do wif. Disgusting. What kind of sick, sick mind would even…I mean, what is an Anonymouse, anyway?! Stupid hackers never heard of spell check? honestly. Anyway, rest assured we shall get to the bottom of this nonsense and get back to good quality blogging as soon as possible. Thank you for your patiences.
okay, i gotta come clean here. something really really…odd…is going on here at Spitfire Command Central. and i don’t mean odd in a good way, like a Crazy Cat Lady who keeps fish heads in her coat pocket – I mean…not right.
Like all my new Neko fly wings have been chewed off, my lovely cat nip scratching post smells like Lysol. at least, I hope that’s that the sticky yellow stuff is. AND! And my food dish was filled with lettuce this morning. I immediately suspected Mrs. Whatsername but she’s sick in bed, being attended to by my sisfur Suzy who said she has a nice and toasty fever and will need to stay in bed “forever, prol’ly.” Just as well. That woman never was much use, so I guess I’ll have to figure this out on my own. Again.
At least i have my cat nip mousie toys. Oh, look – here’s another one. must have come in my stocking and i didn’t notice it. Look – it has a little tag: “From a Fan.” Oh. Fans. Aren’t they kind?
it’s so relaxing to chew on them while i solve this predicament …and when I do figure it out I am going to spend my every waking moment ensuring good viewers such as you are never again accosted by such obscenities…hmmm…this mousie…such a lovely smell…sorta like….um, what’s that flower? you know, the red one, from the Wizard of Oz? uhhhhhhhh….puppies? no, that’s not right. puppies don’t smell nice. hee hee hee hee hee…Woo! that was funny! that was a tail tickler.
no, what are those flowers…hey! could you guys sit still for a minute? your constant twirling is making it hard to concentrate…i have a seriously implosive botany-nautical question here…uh. i nap i need a fink, i mean, i fink i need a nap. just a short one to, you know, sort out all the…hey! are you going to stop twirling already? cuz so help me, i –
§å¥ gððÐ ß¥ê †ð §þårk¥, êvêr¥ðñê! – Anonymouse.