Number Crunching


To: All Staff

From: the Chief Feline Officer

RE: 4th Quarter Earnings

The CFO has studied the books and found that 4th quarter numbers, while verreh crunchy, were not good.  While “Olympian gains” were posted in mole sightings, houseplant chewing and nap times, the cost of Distressed Humans in need of Furry Love continues to cut into my bottom line. Therefore, in order to ensure the future solvency of Sparky Cat Enterprises, Ltd, drastic cuts must be made in teh Human Affairs Division.  

Effective immediately, the Human Food Budget will be limited to fishy treats and kibble.  Petting and Pick-Up-teh-Kitteh Bonuses are to be discontinued. Retirement, in any form, is hereby canceled. 

With these cuts, we should see an overall amortization of our liquidikitty.  All employees are encouraged work togetfur towards this goal. Fank you and get back to work.

13 thoughts on “Number Crunching

  1. Well that’s a good financial report – should keep the troops there fired up – they now have their marching orders and it’s all about keeping YOU happy! As it should be!

    Hugs, Sammy

  2. Cute and clever…it made Mom chuckle. It seems as if you have a handle on how to keep those humans in line. Purrs and paw-pats, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Jo

  3. This looks like the perfect time for Evil Squirrel Enterprises to launch a hostile takeover. My accounting firm of Possum, Raccoon, and Skunk LLC thinks a little asset liquidation and book cooking is all it will take. Don’t worry Sparky, I’ll save a vice presidency position for you… I’ll put you in charge of birdfeeder security…

  4. Sparky, Sparky, Sparky, The Human just squirted some coffee right out her nosicle. It was funny to see that, so thanks.
    Oh my darling girl, the Human has been so very neglectful of her duties to me I cannot even begin to count the ways. I think I will need to crunches some numbers of my own. XOXOXOX

  5. I deferably think that crunching something is ness ass airy! You had my mom spitting tacks as well as coffee! You give us hope Sparky. We will take back what’s ours and kibble only for the huge mans! 😉 MOL xx

  6. We are back now that the mom has quit her yearly green papers cursing. OMC how we hate those couple of days, no tuna treats for her! We are happy to see as CFO you have things under control.

  7. Sparky, my sweet! Look at you! A MONTH has passed and your wickedly neglectful Woman has not posted! Why, she’s even WORSER than mine, if such a thing were possible! I hope you have had a lovely St. Paddy’s day–maybe you killed yourself sumfing green?? XOXOXO

  8. Sparky! Your King of Hearts misses you, my sweet! Tell that uncooperative Human it’s TIME for a Sparky post! XOXOXO

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