CTI – Counter Top Investigations (part 3)

Ma’am.  Ma’am? I must ask you to not interfere with Police Activities.  Please.  Step outside teh yellow line.  This is for your own safety, Ma’am.  Ma’am? MA’AM! Please. I can not Secure teh Perimeter and keep an eye out for Butter Monsters and Kitchen Land Killers if you don’t STAND BACK.  

Alright, fine.  If you insist.  If this really is your so-called “Kitchen,” maybe you can be of help wif our investigation.  We have detained a suspicious bowl of an unknown but intriguingly yummy substance.  Our Sources suspect it is teh remains of the noted Dairy Delinquent, Heavy Creams. Upon further investigation, we discovered suspicious amounts of bumpy red things.  I know what your finking – mouse guts, right?   But, no.  It appears to be somecrime scene.  content may not be appropriate for sensitive viewers and childrens. find of fruit. Tsk. Such a random act of cooking.  Another senseless recipe.  You see it all in this job.  But… who had it in for Creams? Who would ruin his wunnerful, whipped potential?  RIP, Heavy Creams

Well, well, well.  What have we here?  Some kind of note? A Cook Book confessional, maybe?  Let’s see: “Chawclit  Cake wif  Whipped Cream and Fresh Fruit Filling…1 cup heavy cream (!), 2 tablespoons of kirsch? pureed RASPBERRIES?!” Oh Dear Cod, that’s disgusting.    Ma’am – is this your Cookbook?  Ma’am? MA’AM! Answer teh question. 

Okay, fine.  You has teh right to remain Silent.  Anyfing you cook can and will be used against you in a Court of Flaws.  Hey! Where are you going? Ok, fine. Just remember – our investigation is still on going.  You will be notified by Teh Authorities if we have any further questions.  You may want to retain counsel.  Don’t try to leave teh country.

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20 thoughts on “CTI – Counter Top Investigations (part 3)

  1. Sparky, What’s Kirsch and how come ur peep put it in the CREEMS? Why put ennyfing in teh CREEMS (well, except our tongues!) I think U bedder be careful though–if U gets Mrs. W arrested. who will make the whipped creems for you? Who will get the budder outta teh Fridge? Who will get your breakfast and scoop your box???

  2. Why would anyone put icky red stuff in heavenly heavy creams??? I’ll be up all night trying to find the answer.

    Sparky, did you know our mom was thinking of you? Bunches (maybe up to a dozen?) of DC & MD kitty bloggers are getting together Dec 8 at the Bethesda Hyatt for brunch to meet, chat blogs and kitties. Are you interested? Email the mom: edensp1 at hotmail.com

    • prolly not, Miss Oui. she claims to have had every weekend stolen from here til the new year. for some reason, we are supposed to feel sorry for her. won’t work. but we hate to miss you! let us know what that pool of blogging genii comes up wif.

  3. Hi Sparky, We want to thank your Mom for sending that Frost recording. The Human teaches this poem to her juniors, so she will play this for them when they get to it. It is very touching–and (your Mom probably already knows this) Frost read a poem at Kennedy’s inauguration–he was very old then, of course, but it was beautiful just the same.

    • anyfing for you Spitty. now maybe she’ll be nice to you. Mrs. W. gets all gooey and weepy thinking back on a time when Presidents and Poets were buddies.

      How eva, she is a poetry snob and refuses to appreciate teh lyrical contributions of Kittehs. Take, fer instance, my favorite poem:
      “Feed me. Meow.
      Meow, meow, meow.
      Feed me, feed me.
      Feed me now…”

      can you believe it just falls on deaf ears? I don’t know why I bother.

  4. Hi Sparky. Spitty has nominated you for our Share It Sunday guest blog post. You don’t have to do anything. Just email me a link to the post you’d like me to feature and I will do the rest. I am at mollyDOTthewallyATbtinternetDOTcom. Your post will be on for this coming Sunday and can you also send me your nomination for the next Sunday. Have a marvellous Monday.
    Best wishes Molly

  5. Hello my sweet darling Sparky, How was your Thanksgiving? Was there more nommy fudz on the counter to have your way with? XOXOXO from your Fierce Lover-Boy

    • oh, Spittimus – we just tried to leave a funny, wordy comment on your bloggy but wordpress acted like they didn’t know who we was (imagine!) and it deleted the whole fing. bugger. we hear funny noises here too – kinda like “GET OFF buzzbuzzbuzz” and “How many times yahdidah-yahdidah…” I fink we need a plumber or mechanic or someone to investigate and plug up whatever is making that leaky, whiny noise. Good luck.
      we miss you too. i especially missed you while the W’s was away, for some reason, leaving Suzie and I in the clutches of She Who Will Not Let Me Out. It was awful. Hope you had fun tho. xo

      • Hello my beautiful darling! I think it is just wicked that your Human left you to the mercies of someone who did not allow you your accustomed privileges. Pfft to THAT. And really, could That Woman help you blog –maybe at least ONCE this month!?!? Course, mine has not been helping me visit much so she’s no bargain either. When oh when will we grow THUMBS??

  6. Hi darling girl, Hope all is well on the East Coast and you are being catered to! My Human has been pretty useless–I have some hope things might be better once the semester ends next Friday but I’m not counting on it. Sigh. XOXOXO

    • Spitters! is there really nuffing we can do about your Human? isn’t there some kind of coup you could stage? an Academic Sit-in or some sorts? Don’t you still have hippies out there? Get her students to start a revolution and close down teh campus so she’ll have to attend to you. Fight teh Power, Spitty. Fight teh Power.
      p.s. your pleas for a blog post about to be answered in 5…4…3…2…

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