Kitties! Kitties! Do you even remember me?!?! It’s ME! Sparkly Love Pants! Yes! really!!! I’m back from my horrible, horrible exile.
Here is how my long week started:
Mr. and Mrs. Whatsernames left AGAIN, but this time they decided to go on teh cheap and not pay the highly qualified Cat Warden to come feed us all wrong, like she do, and instead leave matters in the hands of The Childrens. I can’t help but notice how big they have become lately. Also how much times they spend slouching, eating, texting and eye rolling, so a vacation without them is completely understandable.
So you would fink this would be a wunnerful week for moi, as I could trust that The Childrens would not even read or even care about such dictatorial edicts, and getting out would be easy-peasy whenever the pizza delivery guy or teh police stopped by. But that was not to be.
For while I easily got out, I could not get back in and spent the week doing this:
It’s like they didn’t EVEN see me! or hear me, even when I climbed the tree and hopped on teh roof to meow into teh sky lights to let them know it was NOON, for Heaven’s Sake, and they could get outta bed – and they never even looked up once when I stuck my face in the basement window and begged – YES- begged them to put down the X Box controller and OPEN TEH DOOR. But no. Let me tell you, my Furriends, you can meow your little head off but your pitiful and adorable pleas for help are useless when you are being “taken care of” by the Ear Bud Zombie Brigade.
If i had had wifi access, I would have done a little research. This is verrah educashunal and I shall make a note of it next time teh Teens are In Charge.
But, no, I had no wifi or clean water dish, after a few days of drinking out the drain spout and eating cold cheese off pizza boxes left in teh trash, Mrs. W. comes strolling home, la dee dah, like she do,
and while I would normally shun her and should have bitten her ankles, hard, for dropping teh ball like this, instead I rolled at her feet and even climbed into bed and sniffed her head to let her know I was glad she was there. And also that it was time to feed me. Which she did, and even got out the brushie and my favorite fishy bacon and gave me a surprise sprig of Cat Nip and suddenly, all was right wif teh world.
So you know what that means, don’t you?
It’s time to go back out.