Kitties! Kitties! Do you even remember me?!?! It’s ME! Sparkly Love Pants! Yes! really!!! I’m back from my horrible, horrible exile.

Here is how my long week started:

Mr. and Mrs. Whatsernames left AGAIN, but this time they decided to go on teh cheap and not pay the highly qualified Cat Warden to come feed us all wrong, like she do, and instead leave matters in the hands of The Childrens.  I can’t help but notice how big they have become lately.  Also how much times they spend slouching, eating, texting and eye rolling, so a vacation without them is completely understandable.

So you would fink this would be a wunnerful week for moi, as I could trust that The Childrens would not even read or even care about such dictatorial edicts, and getting out would be easy-peasy whenever the pizza delivery guy or teh police stopped by. But that was not to be.  

For while I easily got out, I could not get back in and spent the week doing this: 

It’s like they didn’t EVEN see me! or hear me, even when I climbed the tree and hopped on teh roof to meow into teh sky lights to let them know it was NOON, for Heaven’s Sake, and they could get outta bed – and they never even looked up once when I stuck my face in the basement window and begged – YES- begged them to put down the X Box controller and OPEN TEH DOOR.  But no.  Let me tell you, my Furriends, you can meow your little head off but your pitiful and adorable pleas for help are useless when you are being “taken care of” by the Ear Bud Zombie Brigade.

If i had had wifi access, I would have done a little research.  This is verrah educashunal and I shall make a note of it next time teh Teens are In Charge.

But, no, I had no wifi or clean water dish, after a few days of drinking out the drain spout and eating cold cheese off pizza boxes left in teh trash, Mrs. W. comes strolling home, la dee dah, like she do,

and while I would normally shun her and should have bitten her ankles, hard, for dropping teh ball like this, instead I rolled at her feet and even climbed into bed and sniffed her head to let her know I was glad she was there.  And also that it was time to feed me.  Which she did, and even got out the brushie and my favorite fishy bacon and gave me a surprise sprig of Cat Nip and suddenly, all was right wif teh world.

So you know what that means, don’t you?


fanks I can has Cheezburger!

It’s time to go back out.

15 thoughts on “Exile

  1. What a tough week. Glad we don’t have any of those wifi, earbud zombies around here. It’s the cat sitter or no one, if the humans are only going to be gone about a day. Hope this doesn’t happen again. It is inexcusable. Purrs and hugs, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Guilietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Jo

  2. We have those ear bud zombie monster thingies visit quite a lot. They only do this txting stuff, so I think, Sparky, you need to learn to txt!!! They don’t talk normal at all except to shout cos of those ear buds growing out their heads make ’em deff!!

  3. These childrens need a good walloping by the Mrs.! When I was a mama cat and had my four kits, there were times they got out of hand and needed me to whap them with a gentle yet firm paw or grab them with my mouth around the neck. It’s not easy training childrens but that’s a mother’s lot, just like it is we kitties lot to train our humans. Tell mewz Mrs. to ask a trusted neighbor or friend next time, or bribe the childrens with a little money. Let them know if they do not serve mew the way mew are to be served then no $ when she returns. Those little minions are greedy when it comes to money, so they’re bound to serve mew then.
    In the mean time, milk the trauma mew endured for all it’s worth- mew, be needy, fall over in agony, and moan and groan. Mew will have her feeding mew fishy bacon and nip whenever mew please. MOL! 🌺💙🌸🐾

  4. Oh, Sparky, that could be our house! The Girl even borrowed the mom’s ear buds. But we are glad you are finally back. Next time trash the house to teach ol’ watshername a lesson. We’ll help!

  5. OMC! Fank Ceiling Cat we don’t gots any of those Earbud Brigade peeps at home, though the Human has HUNDREDS of them at her work. She better never bring one home to take care of ME, that’s all I have to say. Mrs. W must PAY for this outrage. I guess that’s why you were in Santa Fe, desperately looking for your Spitty in San Francisco, huh? Oh darling, I’ll be right over to wash your pretty ears.

  6. You could have just knocked on my tree and had a warm place to stay. There’s a real comfy spot in the back of my nest where the tree rot is so soft, it’s like getting a Swedish massage while laying down. it coulda been a bestest buds weekend!

  7. Mes hates to say it, but me has been there and done that and me demanded never to be left with the children again! (and they was in their 20s -did the same thing)

  8. I *wish* the Human were a CHEF or even a beautician. Instead she’a a completely useless English teacher–what good is THAT???? And that stoopy thing is a power cord to a Chromebook she bought a couple months ago and LOVES. That’s no good to me either. Sigh. When are you going to figure out what SF means so you can get over here?

  9. Uh…..Well, I hear the botanical gardens in Sarasota are lovely this time of year. But……uh……. Well, you know.

    • you would just not believe it Spitty – full o’ dolphins and under-dressed humans but no YOU. And, AND! I was about to book a flight for the only other obveeus destination – Sauvignon, France – when Mrs. W. barged in, snatched teh credit card out of my little paws and interrupted my session wif Expedia. She said, “NO MOAR ON LINE TRAVEL RESERVATIONS!!!” She barks like a dog, sometimes. pretty pitiful, really.

  10. Sounds like it was quite a week for you. I’m glad your adult peepul have come back to save you. Thanks for visiting my blog, it’s nice to meet you.


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