Hey Kittehs! Guess What?!
I got an awardie! I am so thrilled. You love me! You really do! or at least my friend Penelope, The Cat from Hell, does.
Before I start to thank the Academy and my Mom for this Prestigious My FavOUrite Things Awardie, there are a few things I have to do.
Okay – first I has to THANK Nellie – the Cat From Hell!
Nellie is Teh Bomb – an all around perfect kitteh: mean, beautiful, easy to anger, mouthy, mean, dangerous, loved by Mancats around teh globe. Also, mean. I lubs her. I’m gonna grow up to be just like her. Only meaner.
Next, I has to tell you about my SIX FAVORITE THING:
As a former feral kitty, I am allergic to laps and grabby hands. You know what they say – “you can take the litter of kittens out of the engine block of an abandoned El Camino, but you can’t take the engine block out of the kitten…no, wait…that’s not it. Well, anyway, like Mr. Cole Porter used to say:
let me wander over yonder, til I see the mountains rise,
I want to ride to the ridge where the west commences,
gaze at the moon until I loose my sense,
I can’t look at Cat Carriers and I laugh at fences
Don’t fence me in.
and even if you did put up a fence, I would just climb a tree a jump ova it, so don’t bother.
2. Power Petting.
What? you’ve never HEARD of Power Petting? Well, let Mr. Whatsisname show you how it’s done. That man should quit his day job and start a Kitteh Spa and Massage Parlor. Excuse teh grainy out of focus, dimly lit video. Mrs. Whatsername is an auteur, don’t you know. Auteur, I believe, if French for amateur, low-budget, porn producer…http://youtu.be/3YLU9MXwPPY
3. Being fed first.
Me. Now. Suzie can wait. she told me she’s fine with that. Now. Me. Where are you going wif that can? NO! don’t recycle it! there’s no time for that…Feed! Me! Now! Me Me Me Me Me Me Me Me Me Me….oh. fanks….
4. Fishy Bacon
or as the Japanese say, “bonito flakes.” Breakfast of Champions, you know. keeps my coat shiny, my tiger stripe nice and stripy, and give my orange dot an extra special glean. Also, very fishy.
Sammy Snacks is my very favorite
5. 4:41 a.m.
Best time in the world to bring a new toy to the bed room to demonstrate to Mr. and Mrs. W. my prowess at batting and leaping and jumping. Also, can I go back outside now?
Oh! how I lubs him. So Dashing -so Ebil…just the kind of Bad Boy Basement Kitteh our Mommies warned us about. I can’t wait to free him from his entrapment in the Bay Area. Just you wait and see if I don’t. I just need figure out which bay…certainly wasn’t the Chesapeake. I looked there already. But when I do find him, he is going to be my Faithful Lover Boy forever…
Wait – what? What’s that, you say? Penelope, teh Meanest, Angriest Kitteh from Hell, ever! also lubs Spitty?!?!
Well, Nellie, this the just the gift that just keeps on giving, isn’t it?
Anyhoo – the My FavOUrite Thingie Awardie requires me to send this Award to My FavOUrite Bloggie Buddies. Drum roll pleasie-please…
Gemini, the kitteh who just wants to know what’s on the other side of the fence (pssst! it’s me! I’m on teh other side! come find me!!!)
Odin, that one-eyed wonder
Taro Sushi (aka, Japan Jumping Cat) – Wow! is he great or what? Don’t tell Spitty…
Jelly Bean, Guiseppe, Mimi, Sunshine, and Mewsette of the Creative Cat – a posse of 5 ebil basement kittehs…i like how that human is outnumbered…
Texas, the bestest big brother cat out there. Kitshka, you are so lucky. also, fanks to both of you, for not laughing at Madame W.’s pitiful French
and finally – Minnie Mica Moo, cuz her lack of eyebrows really is my favorite thingie.
Fanks Penelope and blogging buddies! Headbonks all around!