No use in ignoring it. Time to enroll in a 12-Paw Program and get some real help.
Oh, sure, some might blame the wanton Mrs. Whatsername, that Notorious Nepeta Peddler, with her garden-fresh supply of succulent Catnips, but I have to take responsibility for my own actions.
I could say no – simply flick my tail and trot away. I could bite her ankles, just to get the message across. I could ignore her like I do every day. But, when she comes out of the garden with a handful of Leafy Green Lovliness, and that ‘you know you want this’ look in her evil eye…well…it’s just more than this Kitteh can bare.
I am a Nipsomaniac. I can not help myself. Here you see the awful troof:
Ugh. I am practically in her LAP. It’s so humiliating to be Roofied in this manner, then let her have her way with me and that stupid camera phone of hers. I feel so used.
But for the good of kitteh youths evawhere, I post this embarrassing display as a Cautionary Tail. Do not let this happen to you. Or if you do, remember, at the very least, to bite the hand that dopes you.
And so while I work through this long recovery, I will keep this in mind –
Grant me teh Savagery to Stalk teh Things I Cannot Kill,