Nellie Knows

Oh, hello.  i didn’t see you there as i am surfing teh whirled-wide webs, doing some genealogical research.  while you was out over teh river and troo teh woods, I was finding my Grandma on teh internet.

you knows, evaday, kittehs ask me where I get all my famous stories.  ”Who told you a thing like that?” they say…or “what on earths gave you that idea,” or “are you out of your furry little mind?” they all wants to know.  Here then, is my source – my great great great great great wonderful neat-o cool and pawesome Grandma, Nellie McPuss.

Nelle teh Belle was an encyclopedia of cat-lore and history.  She searched teh world for kitteh stories and committed them all to memory.  from time to times, she ended up as the subject of a few legends herself, often as an international spy, crossing teh bad lands of teh Somme, stealing away from an assignation wif Baron von  Puff, blueprints for teh Kaiser’s cat-shaped zeppelin clenched in her teeth, searching teh trenches for her true love, RAF mascot, Trevor.  you know. that kind o’ thing.

Nellie was a welcome guests on red-carpets, rubbing her head against teh shins of stars of stage and screen, as well as in intellectual salons, curling up in teh laps of notable eggheads o’ teh day.  You know that famous story of teh french novelist and party-animal, Colette, who meets teh kitteh in New York City and they meow and meow at each other, until Colette exclaims, “Enfin! Quelqu’un qui parle francais!” (finally! someone who speaks French!)  That was my Grandma.

anywho, i now has Grandma’s treasure trove of stories to share wif you, you lucky fings, you.  stories of love and intrigues; cautionary tales of fickle fame, betrayal and teh ravishes of cat nip addiction.  and all of it true. as far as i knows. Cuz Grandma would neva lie to me.

so, stay tuned.

thanks to Rachel Birdsell for the great pictures!  You can find more of her  “Anthropormorphic Altered Victorians” at her Etsy shop: The Curious Crow.

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8 thoughts on “Nellie Knows

  1. The Human says HER grandma was really cool too. Sadly, I don’t know my grandma, though given the reproductive proclivities of the Kittehs, she might not be much older than I am, right? Ha ha ha! Can’t wait for the stories 😉

  2. Regarding my abandonment: Well, strictly speaking, my Human was only gone for about 12 hours so I did not have to summon all my mightiest wrath to punish her upon her return. In fact, I did not this time have to endure the Presence of the Neighbor Ladies who, while they do provide the noms that keep me from starvation, will insist upon cooing and attempting to get all grabby hands with me. (It never works.) It does sound as though you are well within your rights to inflict whatever punishment you find necessary, up to and including the drawing of blood and the pooping on pillows. They must PAY for your suffering and don’t let them weasel out of it by promising to do Better in the Future. We’ve all heard THAT before. Good luck, young Lady. Be strong!

    • punishment, you say…hmmmm…i was too busy slinking out troo teh front door when they arrived to fully ponder on possible revenge scenarios. fanks for reminding me. hmmmm…well, i best go exam that basket full of freshly folded baff towels…

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