oh, hello Humans. did you stumble out o’ teh house yet wif your coffee mugs and stand in long lines to vote? good for yous. voting is vital to a functioning Democatic Society, so that long wait in the school gym and that PTA bake sale brownie was of National Importance. don’t you ferget it. also, that long line no doubt gave you time to remember that teh bag of crunchies is running low. so now that you is done wif your service to your country, get your self to teh grocery store. crunchies is vital too, you know.
And speaking of remembering and eating, today is teh day i remind you of teh vital role cats have played in voting rights. Kittehs was called into ackshun 100 years ago, both for and against Women’s Suffrage. In fact, in 1913, teh British Government instituted teh infamous Cat and Mouse policy to keep Suffragettes from demonstrating. This was not only a horrible smear to teh reputation of kittehs, who would neva condone such a thing, but also a rotten thing to do to womens.
Fear that women would wake up and realize, ‘hey! i is a human too, right?’ the Scared Mans of the British Government at first felt the best thing to do was to lock these crazy ladies up for looooooooong jail terms. In protest, jailed Suffragettes would go on hunger strikes, but teh Man was one step ahead o’ teh Ladies and force-fed them, shoving tubes and soup down their throats and even their noses. Teh thinking was, I guess, that torture was somehow bettah than letting them starve for something they believe in. Public outcry, however, was huge.
So, in order to not look like teh monsters they was, British officials passed teh blame off on cats by instituting the Cat and Mouse Policy (aka, “The Temporary Discharge for Ill Health Act of 1913”). This Act allowed jailers to release suffragettes who grew weak from their hunger strike but stipulated that if they got better later and started demonstrating in teh streets once again, they was going back to jail. This way, if a Lady died after being held in horrible prison conditions, well, it wasn’t their fault. an they hoped the threat of jail would keep the most high-profile Suffragettes at home. The US government was thinking of instituting it as well.
Luckily, Suffragettes was more cat-like than the Officials realized and re-arresting them proved difficult. Also, peeps knew in their hearts that cats, of all things, would never eva treat Ladies like that. We loves teh Ladies! The ones who stand in teh kitchen all day? An remember to buy the bag of crunchies that you like? teh ones who speak in teh high pitched voices and know the bestest spots for head scratches wif their delicate fingers? No. Kittehs has always supported Womens.