CSP and You

More Kittehs in Science!  Here we see those pioneers of parapsychology; Pumpkin, PhD, and his research assistant, Boots, as they attempt to see if Humans have any Sensory Perception at all.  Let alone the Extra kind.

This study was no mere Double-Blind, but more a Double-Head-Fake, as the Humans in the study, Dr. Robert Morris of the Psychical Research Foundation and an assistant in the other room, think THEY are conducting a test of ESP in animals.  The Assistant behind the door is thinking real hard, wrinkling up his hairless forehead as he concentrates on one number from that ugly rug. The kitteh, they thinks, is then gonna pounce on that number as if it was cat nip.
But while this nonsense is going on, Dr. Pumpkin and Boots has their own telecathic communications. 
Dr. Pumpkin: “okay, the mans behinds the door is breaking into a sweat over numbah 22.  You go to 5 and sits down to take a bath.
Boots: “I already took a bath.”
Dr. Pumpkin: “Just sits on number 5 and start washing your butt.  We have to establish who’s boss here.  Okay, nicely done.  Note how our subjects are scratching their heads.   Now – on to phase two.  Get off the rug and sit by the door. Think hard about how you want to go out.
Boots: “That never works. You know that better than anycat, Professor. What about your seminal work on cat-door relations? and your award winning book “Cats and Mans; Who’s on the Wrong Side?”
Dr. Pumpkin: “yes, but it’s never been tested in a clinical condition like this before. Hurry! We must try.”
[Several agonizing, non-door-opening minutes later]
Boots: “I give up.  I’m going to sit on 22 and then sneak out when they run out to type up the results.”
Dr. Pumpkin: “Do and I’ll take away your research grant.”
Boots: “Whatever.” 
Thanks to Tuesday Johnson’s Historical Indulgences for the photo ! Also, “Minds Without Boundaries”, Danbury Press, 1975

13 thoughts on “CSP and You

  1. Ha ha ha ha ha! This is the best story I have read all day. We think this conversation probably really happened, don’t you? My Human is an English teacher and she thinks science people are likely to say almost any crazypants thing. I like the cat though.

  2. With dogs salivating at the sound of a bell, the thought that cats are tested for esp proves a higher regard for the feline. At least that’s what my owner telepathed me to say, hehe


    • i heard the research grant moneys for dog esp disappeared after teh doggies ate it. not surprising, really. I likes how you and your owner’s brains telepathize like that. must get confusing tho, right?

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