In today’s Cats o’ History, we remember the esteemed Dr. Snowball, the first Psychicatrist to delve into the scary depths of the Human Mind, such as it is. Here we see her with her first patient, “That Nice Lady,” who Dr. Snowball diagnosed with cat-hexis, “the attachment, conscious of unconscious, of emotional feelings and significance to an idea, an object, or most commonly, a cat.”
Humans have never been fully cured of this sad affliction. Today, Cat-hexic humans are lucky to have cat blogs and LOL’s and Nyan Cats to help get through the day, like little online shots of feline methadone. But back in teh day, Dr. Snowball had only paws-on therapy and Tuff Loves at her disposal.
That Nice Lady’s affliction was so severe that she not only indulged in delusions that she was a cat, but also that her children were “kittens” as well. After years of watching That Nice Lady attempt to meow and play “like a real cat,” Dr. Snowball took action. She sat Nice Lady down on the couch and let her prattle on and on about how she wished she were a kitteh, how she would sleep all day and drink milks from little bowls, etc. etc.
Nice Lady said a lot of other things too, but the good Dr. fell asleep at some point because it got a little boring and frankly, pathetic. But after that little nap, Dr. Snowball commenced treatment by stretching her long and lovely belly out on Nice Lady’s lap, curling her pink little toes, and blinking her emerald eyes, which, as we all know today, is the most effective way to deliver the truth to Delusional Humans:
“You will never be this beautiful. Please get over it.”
The treatment was so effective that Nice Lady had a stunning break-through, or in medical terms, a cat-harsis. She never whined about not being a kitteh again. Here we see her bravely facing the awful truth with her daughter; a Nice Lady in her own right too, but Not A Cat.