Sparky Cat, Sparky Cat

Sparky Cat, Sparky Cat, where have you been?

I been to London, to rescue teh Queen.

Sparky Cat, Sparky Cat, what did you do there?

I chase teh zombie squirrels out from under teh Queen’s chair.

Sparky Cat, Sparky Cat, have you lost your mind?

No, and you should fank me cuz they can’t come here now and bite yer behind

Sparky Cat, Sparky Cat – how did you get there?

well, expedia helped me save a bunch on teh airfare.

Sparky Cat, Sparky Cat – but how did you pay?

let’s just say, mebbe, you shouldn’t leave your credit card out next to teh computer all day.

Sparky Cat, Sparky Cat - tell me you weren’t arrested…

don be silly. MI5 had my back. den after teh parade, teh RAF flew me home, relaxed and well-rested.

Sparky Cat, Spar - wtf?! a parade? what! how? why? who?

Mind yer language. I been knighted. That’s Sir Sparky to you.

I tried to warn yous…

Lord knows hows I tried.  

looks like i will be gone for a while as i track down this new strain of zombified squirrel that has infested yards in teh UK. now i just has to figure out which storm drain leads to this so-called Hamshire, which I assume will be filled wif piggies and so hopefully, after i decimates teh multitudes of Fluffy Fiends and Undead Rodents, i will be able to bring home some bacons.  so…win/win.

you can wish me luck if you wants, but i neva needs it.

kthnxbye.

This Cat for Hire

just so you all knows, i has to be inconito for a few days. i has a dangerous mission, involving Squirrel Racketeering and teh pursuit of Rodent Crime Bosses all overs teh metropolitan areas.  i am hot on teh trail of a crime syndicate that covers all teh vices: from grand theft skateboard, fireworks and baff salts sales, Voter ID fraud… you names it – dese evil Nut Nazis has their stinky paws all over it.

as you can see, i has a badge now.  so, is official.  you is in good hands, citizen.  (fanks, Cat From Hell.  I won’t let you down).

so, if you sees me, i will be ignoring you.  nothin’ surprising there, but dis time is for realz.

also – fanks to that stoolie, Wooway1 for teh tip